Sometimes I feel like I’m thinking of nothing, and it feels bad.  Really bad.  It’s almost like having a giant void inside my brain and it’s just expanding.  The more it grows, the more I feel like I wanna reach for the remote and put something on.  I figure if you have stimuli, then you’re thinking and that helps eliminate the void.  Even bad TV shows give ya something you could feed off of and then talk about.

Other times, though, not absorbing any stimuli can lead to rather fun experimental stuff while diving straight into your thoughts.  That said, I like to envision myself sitting in the dark with no distractions while focusing on writing in a distraction-free text editor (PyRoom‘s my favorite).  I’m doing that now, actually.  I usually avoid getting this meta in writing, but that’s not to imply that I hate it.  I actually enjoy meta stuff, but sometimes I wanna let the writing stand as its own thing without getting self-referential.  And yet here I am doing just that.  Why do this, then?  Eh… I figured that any bit of writing helps in some way.

A lot of the times I don’t even know what to go on about.  There’s a good element of unpredictability that adds to the fun, and it does give a neat sorta’ energy to those spontaneous posts, but I do always like that I could write down an idea and work from it instead of feeling like I have to come up with something on the spot at the last second.  Granted, the latter thing helps me with quick thinking and such, but already having an idea to start with does help.

Trouble is, a lot of the times I’ve tried that approach, I write something and then erase it.  I try another take, and then erase it.  I’ll try a different method, and then delete that.  Don’t think that I’m a perfectionist though, this isn’t about that.  This is about feeling whatever sort of energy I have and then taking it further in some way.  And not just “some way,” I like to take an idea into just enough length territory before I free associate at a logical-enough point.  In addition, I try not to make changes like that too sudden.  In hindsight, the thing I’m after has to have some sense of balance, even in unplanned entries.

I’m a big believer in domino effects when it comes to creative stuff like this.  And like the dominos themselves, I don’t like it when things start going and and then there’s a slight hiccup or pause.  Imagine how ya feel if you’re going on about something and then you just stop.  It’s discomforting.  The funny thing is that I know I can write about stuff.  I can ramble and go on about different things as I free-associate and go into details, but sometimes when I sit in front of the keyboard, I start wanting to toss the laptop into a wall.

I’m obviously not gonna do that, but it’d give me something to write about so hey, enjoy the little things.